By the time a couple files for divorce in Illinois, for all intents and purposes, their relationship has usually been over for a long time. Understandably, in the midst of all the difficulties of divorce, one thing that people often find hope in is the possibility of seeking a meaningful connection with a new partner. However, dating after divorce is not without its own challenges. Here are five things dating and relationship experts want you to know about pursuing love after divorce.
Wait Until the Divorce is Finalized
You may be ready to leave your marriage behind and seek the pleasure and freedom of dating again, but experts say it is wiser to wait until after your divorce is finalized for several reasons. Even with an outstanding divorce attorney, the outcome of a divorce is never 100 percent certain until it is over. You may not be financially, emotionally, or physically available to a new partner in a meaningful way until you have your divorce decree in hand and know what is expected of you in terms of financial and time commitments.
Take it Slow
The excitement of a new connection can make you feel as though you are ready to jump in with both feet. But remember – you married your soon-to-be-ex-spouse for a reason, too, and that relationship is now at its end. You do not have anything to lose by slowing down, enjoying the process of getting to know someone, and making sure this new person is really who they appear to be.
Put Your Kids First
Any new partner you meet is, statistically speaking, not likely to be around forever. Your kids are, and if they are underage or still live at home, they need you right now. Divorce is tough on kids, but they tend to do much better when parents put them first. Wait to introduce a new partner to your children until you are fairly certain that it could be a long-term commitment, and in the meantime, make your kids your first priority.
Expect Complicated Feelings
You may have thought you were ready to meet new people, but you might be surprised to feel some unexpected sadness, guilt, or regret once you start dating again. This is normal. New people are exciting because we do not know much about their problems, histories, or character flaws; finding these out can be disappointing and trigger feelings of missing an ex.
Take Stock of What You Learned
Rarely is one partner completely at fault for a divorce. If you are not sure how you contributed to the breakdown of your marriage, wait – time and perspective are great teachers. This is important because if you are not sure why your last relationship failed, you are much less likely to know how to cultivate a healthy new one. Make a list of the things you value in other people, how you could do better in being a giving partner, and what you learned about what you need in a relationship.
Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer Today
Moving on with life after divorce is much easier when you have a straightforward divorce process that allows you to focus on your personal life. You can get the help you need with your divorce from the experienced team of Western Springs, IL divorce attorneys with Botti Marinaccio, LTD.. We take pride in our excellent client service and satisfaction and are committed to pursuing a divorce strategy that makes the most sense for you. Call our offices today at 630-575-8585.