No one reaches the decision to divorce easily. Ending a marriage is one of the most emotionally burdensome experiences someone can go through. However, divorce is sometimes needed so that both spouses can end an unhappy marriage and move on to a better future.
If you have decided that you want a divorce but you have not yet told your spouse about your decision, you may understandably be dreading the conversation. Many people who seek a divorce still care about their spouse’s wellbeing and recognize how devastating the news may be to him or her. As you prepare to move forward with your divorce, keep the following tips in mind.
Recognize the Advantages and Disadvantages of Telling Your Spouse in Person
Some individuals only learn that their spouse is divorcing them when they are served with the divorce petition and summons. If you and your spouse are still on good terms, you may find this approach unnecessarily aggressive. There are pros and cons to telling your spouse you want a divorce before filing a petition through the court. On one hand, telling your spouse in person may help you reduce hostility and promote cooperation through the divorce process. On the other hand, if you have not yet consulted a lawyer or filed the divorce petition, this could give your spouse the chance to hide assets or take other adverse actions against you.
Remember that Divorce is Final
Divorce is permanent, so spouses should only proceed with divorce if they are certain that the marriage is irreparable. If you think there may be a chance for you to work out your differences and fix your marriage, there are other legal avenues you can use to protect your interests. For example, a postnuptial agreement is a document that provides legal and financial protections for spouses that are already married. A legal separation may also be used to determine divorce issues without actually ending the marriage.
Plan the Discussion Carefully
If you ultimately decide divorce is the right step for you, plan the conversation carefully. Impulsively announcing your intention to divorce during a heated argument will only add fuel to the fire. Find a private location and try to keep the conversation calm and non-accusatory. It may be helpful to use “I statements” like “I am no longer happy in this marriage” and “I have decided divorce is what is best for me” instead of blaming the spouse for the relationship’s demise.
Contact a Kane County Divorce Lawyer
At [[title]], we help divorcing spouses address the division of marital assets and debts, child custody, and other crucial divorce issues. Call our skilled St. Charles divorce lawyers at [[phone]] for a free, confidential initial consultation.