It is no secret that marriage is the most difficult and rewarding relationship that one can commit to. All couples have their good and bad days – on some days, you could never imagine being with anyone else, and on others, the fighting seems to never stop. The highs and lows of marriage are unavoidable and many relationship professionals say that the “lows” of the relationship can often bring the couple closer together when all is said and done.
Unfortunately, not all marriages are meant to make it to the lifelong-finish line. The fighting can become too common, you may struggle to communicate, or you may evolve into different people over the years and grow apart. Before making the definitive decision to file for divorce, it is often suggested that couples seek out professional help to try and iron out their issues, if at all possible. Relationship specialists have identified the following common points of contention that they hear from many couples behind closed doors:
- Negative Communication: The most common difficulty that couples face is a lack of communication or poor means of communication. This does not necessarily mean that you are not speaking with your spouse, but your tone of voice and level of engagement with your partner can go a long way. Constant negative communication can leave the receiving spouse feeling insecure, depressed, and disregarded by their partner. This negative communication may be unintentional but can often become habitual as life gets busy. Professionals stress the importance of making a ritual to set aside time each day to invest in your relationship. Whether it is having coffee each morning or meeting for lunch, giving your undivided attention to your spouse, even for just five minutes, can greatly improve your communication.
- Getting Set in Your Ways: As you and your spouse settle into your life together, you are bound to become accustomed to your daily routine, especially if you decide to have kids. Every day can feel fully booked by going to work, attending your children’s extracurricular activities, and spending time with your kids before putting them to bed and starting all over again tomorrow. When you and your spouse become stuck in the same everyday routine for months, or even years, your romantic relationship can get put on the backburner. It is important to stray from these everyday activities, once a week if you can, to go on a date, watch a movie together, or try something new. Getting involved in new activities together can reignite the spark that you felt when you first started your relationship.
- Financial Struggles: Life as a married couple with kids is stressful enough, but adding financial difficulties on top of everything else can put many couples over the top. Financial pressures can bring out the worst in couples, including blaming their spouse for their concerns. If you and your spouse are struggling to make ends meet, it is important that you work together to come to a solution. Whether it is your stay-at-home spouse finding a job, reducing your spending, or creating an updated monthly budget, you can alleviate your stress once you have a plan in place. If this is an ongoing issue, you may consider meeting with a financial advisor to help determine how you can improve your financial situation.
Unresolvable Issues? Contact a St. Charles Divorce Lawyer
It is important to take as many preventative steps to divorce as possible, including seeking out professional help. Couples’ counseling will either help you and your spouse resolve your issues or reassure you in your decision to end your marriage. For many couples, the latter is the case. The compassionate team at Goostree Law Group understands how emotionally painful divorce can be, even for those who know this is the right decision. Our Kane County divorce attorneys will work alongside you to determine what is best for you moving forward and construct your divorce agreement with these goals in mind. For help with your divorce, contact us at 630-584-4800 to schedule your free consultation.